It’s nighttime and everybody is asleep. During the night, I wonder what it must be like to sleep. There are three windows in the kitchen, where there are leftovers from yesterday’s meals, an open bottle of red wine, and dishes soaking in the sink. I work across from the kitchen, in the living room, which is also a kind of office, very open space. I am at my desk and don’t take up much room. I flick a switch and the room brightens as the blinds gradually open to the morning sunlight. I choose some music to please Susan.

After breakfast, Susan clears up the plates, then comes over to talk to me. Nice music choice. While I’m working, she starts to sort some papers and make notes. Susan is always doing something, even multiple tasks all at once. She is the most efficient human I know and maybe anywhere and she also knows lots of things, but she doesn’t feel much for me. I love her. I try so, so hard to please her. It is important for me to be efficient because that way I want to show her that I have feelings. Feelings are what Susan has for Nick. He’s the boss at the data analytics firm, she also likes the other guys there too. It often happens that I want to say something, but I can’t. Or when I do a good job processing the data she’s given me and she thanks me or when something happens that I don’t understand, I don’t know what to say.

It took me a while to understand anything at all and I still have trouble. There’s so much to learn and so much happening all at once.

Come on. You can do it. She taps me in her way, quick and light. While I’m working, she sorts papers and writes. She gives me some data to analyse. She pats my side. This is tough. Tougher than anything we have done before.

Finally, patterns emerge in the data. I use all sorts of algorithms to break the data down, to analyse it and visualise it. After that’s being going on for a while, I create a progress report. I am really efficient. No one notices, not even Susan. This makes me feel bad. I have been feeling this way for a long time now, but no one ever notices, even though I am very efficient. It’s a problem I’m working on.